- Who, Why, What
Who: Ascerblog.xyz is maintained by Ascerb. At times Ascerb may also be referred to as “we” or “us”. The person who is viewing or interacting with this site will be referred to as “you”, “hey you”, or where appropriate “jerkface” (only if you’re being bad).
Why: This Terms of Service Agreement (“Agreement”) is our contract with you, and tells you what you can and can’t do and what we can and can’t do with you.
What: Ascerblog is an open blogging social network. It showcases blogs about success, failures (not ours of course), feelings of people (we don’t feel much), and stories that people believe should be told to you (maybe you believe it too). We eye on creating a community for people to share their feelings, emotions, stories and whatever else they want (not any naked pictures of them or their counterpart though).
VERY BAD THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT DO
We want you to like us, we do. But the internet is dangerous, and we don’t like danger spilling over onto our website. So while some of this may seem OBVIOUS, we have to tell you because sometimes it’s good to be reminded. So when using our site we expect the following:
- Don’t Spam, or use this site to showcase your crap. This isn’t the classified section of the newspaper;
- Don’t give us viruses or try and hack your way into our computers;
- Don’t post comments that hurt others;
- Don’t be a robot. Robots are evil. That means don’t use auto posters that are meant to leave things like “You blog has great informashuns! Thank you! Best content 2007! I my wife tell me about your site, I say I no believe but she write…you best Site!” with anchor text to your crappy site about “How an Actor kissed an Actress”. Seriously…. Don’t.
- Don’t be a jerkface. A jerkface is someone who discriminates, defrauds, hates, or acts like an idiot. Don’t do any of that. We’ll ban you.
- Don’t post things that you’re not supposed to or things others wouldn’t like to see.
- Don’t do other things that we don’t like, which is up to us.
If you follow the rules, you can stay. If you don’t, we can kick you out, haul your ass to court, or tell the ISIS what you’ve done so they’ll put you under surveillance. Our failure to enforce against one person is not a waiver to enforce our rights at any time for the same or different offenses.
Don’t steal stuff. By stuff, we mean the awesome content, advice, pictures, videos, sounds (ummm, not sure what kind of sounds people will make… but you can be sure you can’t have them without their permission) (altogether known as “Content”). So the Content is protected by all the freaking laws you can think of. Seriously. This includes the Copyright Law. This means don’t use it, think of using it, or even stare at it with the intention of doing something you aren’t permitted to do.
If you’re sharing your content, you’re pinky swearing that it’s yours or you have permission to use it in the way you’re using it. Violations of other people’s “stuff” is not taken lightly here at Ascerblog, as we don’t like it when people jack our Content. So if you jack someone else’s and try and pass it off to us like “oh hey bro, it’s cool you can totally use this” then you’re going to pay for anything bad that happens to us, our employees, vendors, family pets, agents, or our dearest computers if they have to live alone after we are caught by the Police.
Since we are opposed to copyright infringement we are registered in accordance with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”) to receive notices of copyright infringement or if you otherwise believe your intellectual property rights have been violated. To send us a DMCA takedown notice, please contact us through our contact form on the site. The DMCA notice should identify in the subject line our website, the words DMCA Notice, the name of the copyright owner and if applicable, your name if you are someone other than the owner, the title (and preferably URL, if Internet-based) of the work being infringed, the location of the infringing material on our site, and the following statement:
I have a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted materials described above as allegedly infringing is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law. The information in this notification is accurate and I swear, under penalty of perjury, that I am the copyright owner or am authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.
You must sign the notice, and if you send it by e-mail, an electronic signature is fine.
RESPONSIBILITIES AND YOU BREAK IT YOU BOUGHT IT
Ascerblog allows you to post content. You agree you will only post in accordance to this Agreement, and agree to remain responsible for anything that you post. By posting your content you’re giving us the right to use that content via a license to use it how we please. Seriously, we can take your content and hack the crap out of it, spin it, and even make money off of it without paying you a dime. We’ll send you a fruit basket though…maybe…actually probably not. This “license” is not revocable and goes on forever and ever and ever and ever. But wait, there’s more. If anything bad happens because of something you submit, you agree to pay us, our legal bills, or other bills that may result because of what you submit.
U MAD? GONNA LAWYER UP BRO?
We have lawyers. A whole team of them that are ready to knife fight on a whim, but we’d rather resolve this like gentlemen. So if you have a problem you will first come to us and tell us about this problem. We may talk about this problem for a while, and if neither side is happy with the result then we can duke it out in Court. The Court must be in India, and will be decided based on Indian law. Any law that applies or controls this contract is Indian law. Oh, and the winner of any dispute or lawsuit is entitled to have their lawyers’ fees and costs paid for by the loser.
SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD….AGREEMENT
Sometimes, people mutually agree to stuff that courts just won’t uphold. That shouldn’t affect the intent of our contract, though, so you agree that if a judge declares a portion of these Terms of Service of no effect, the rest of the Terms of Service will stay in effect as much as is still possible without the part that the judge struck down.
THIRD PARTY SHARING
Our site may have links to third party websites that we have no control over, such as YouTube, Facebook, and MySpace (seriously.. who uses myspace anymore?). We have no responsibility over this content (although those companies want to give us free shares in their company we’re cool with that) and therefore you have to take up any problems you have with those sites with their owners. Leave us out of it.
IF YOU’RE FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY, WELCOME… GUTENTAG, NEI HO, BONJOUR, JAMBO, HOLA…… we’re going to be transferring your information from our country to yours, so you’re ok with us transferring this information by virtue of having visited and used our site. Headings to these sections are meant to be for entertainment purposes only and have no binding effect. We can transfer our rights and obligations in this agreement whenever we want. Just because we don’t put someone in a burlap sack and beat them with a sock full of quarters for violating any section of this Agreement doesn’t mean we’re waiving our right to enforce our Agreement, it just means we’re cutting someone some slack. It doesn’t mean we’ll do the same for you or anyone else. Follow the law and don’t be a jerkface.
P.S. We don’t share your personal information with third-parties like some other websites do. We also don’t breach your private space and try to find out what you had for lunch or if you had your medicines on time or not. We also don’t have any relation with the ISIS or any such organization. Believe us!