The day I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for a man. In fact, I can distinctly remember walking into that particular chain restaurant hoping that no men would approach me. I had been having a bad day, a bad week really. I couldn’t have anticipated how the second he spoke to me – my world would shift right then and there.
It was a quick exchange. Not romantic in any sense of the word. I stared at him with wide blue eyes and couldn’t believe what I’d heard. No one spoke to me that way. I was known for being a tough girl in school. Not exactly what you would call approachable. My friends and I exchanged looks, wondering just who he thought he was.
We left after our lunch, with not much more than a few stolen glances but a feeling I can only describe as a magnetic pull. I may not know this guy, but I sure wanted to. In a small town it’s not often a new face just appears in your circle of friends.
After that first day I didn’t see him again for almost two months. We caught one another’s eye and there it was again, that same feeling! Surely the people in this crowded hall could feel this seismic shift? All the air in the room was gone, but a quick glance around assured me that it was only us.
I hadn’t been one to really take anything seriously at that stage in my life. Of course, I had my share of relationships. I had never pursued someone before that. I felt as though if I wasted a single second of time I might never see him again.
Our relationship then was much different from it is today. When we met, I hadn’t spent much time trying to work on relationships. I had been distant, selfish. I looked at him and knew that he needed more than that. This sweet, caring boy was quickly becoming a wonderful man, and I needed to be there for him and wanted him to be there with me. I quickly decided that I wouldn’t make excuses with him. I would be honest and open, just as he had been with me. He wasn’t like anyone I had ever met before and I couldn’t believe that he would want to be with me.
Brock loved me when I thought no one could. He met me in a very dark place in my life, and even through every shield I put up he still found a little glimmer of light in me. Every day he would speak to me in the sweetest way and that light would shine just a little bit brighter. He made me want to be better, for him. I never thought for a second, during those early days that I could be worthy of this.
I am so lucky to have had Brock in my life. I’ve grown a lot as a person since the day we met. In the many years since that day, I have learned to love myself. I’ve accepted who I am, and who I am not. I have found strength where I thought I would break. I have been on a journey of change that started with one person, believing that I was worth it – and then convincing me to believe the same.