So, I’m newly single. And by newly, I mean like a week. This shit sucks, btw. So what do I do? Run away from the pain, of course. It’s a natural human response. Get as far away from what’s hurting you as possible.
One night, I’m laying in bed.. sobbing.. and I’m like.. I hate this room. I’m going to paint it. Because I’m an expert painter and all, having did it.. never. But, never mind that, the next day, I go to Home Depot and get all the shit I need. Including a three-step ladder because I’m only 5’2″. Hell, I’m even going to do an accent wall AND paint my bathroom. How hard can it be??
Day 1… I literally fell into my wall that I already painted TWICE. You can see my strands of hair marks if you look closely enough. I had paint on my feet, arms, hands, and somehow my stomach.
Besides all that, days 1-4 I would periodically just stop painting and cry. I couldn’t help it. The tears would just come. And then I would stop crying and just keep going. Well, yesterday was Day 5 of painting. I was finishing up the trim work and when I was completely finished, I realized I hadn’t cried one time. Thank God.
It still hurts and I’m still lonely. But it may be a tiny bit easier. And I also learned to not run from the pain. Yes, go ahead and keep yourself busy. But cry every time you feel it coming on. Every. Single. Time. Do not run from that. Your body has got to release that. Oh, and I also learned that I’m not doing my bathroom anytime soon. That shit is hard! I’m going to attach some pics of my room so you guys can see.. don’t mind the other mess..
Be kind to yourself.