I was recently in an eight month relationship with a man who I had known for 17 years. The last 10 of those 17 years I spent yearning for him. Praying God would give him to me. I would cry myself to sleep. Try to trick myself into believing that I really didn’t want him. Then, finally, the unbelievable happened.. the universe sent him to me! I was amazed. So happy. But I should have known better.
I was ALWAYS the one pursuing him. I was ALWAYS the one that wanted him. He never really showed any initiative unless he was lonely or bored. WHY didn’t I see these things then??!! I’ll tell you why. Because I WANTED HIM SO BADLY that my judgment was clouded.
About two months into our relationship, or whatever it was, we started arguing. We were complete opposites. And I couldn’t feel love from him and I couldn’t feel love growing from me. Four months in.. same thing. Although, we had said in a text a couple of times that we did love each other. But never out loud. Never to each other’s faces. It was so weird. And so awkward. I had never been in that type of relationship to where I had to wonder if the man actually even liked me, let alone loved me.
If you are sitting there right now, reading this and questioning whether he loves you or you love him or whatever the case may be.. just do everyone a favor and walk away. Love is one thing that should never be questioned and it’s one thing that everyone is deserving of. It will hurt to let go, but trust me.. real love does NOT leave you wondering.. EVER.
Be kind to yourself.