In That Moment.. I knew!
I always thought that it’s the accumulated interactions with a person which ultimately affect your feelings towards them and that falling out of love is a gradual process.
But it’s not.
“A moment is all it takes.”
I loved you for all the time I knew you. Of course you hid your true self for me in that entire time. But two months into marriage I knew.
I clearly remember that day, time, and even what I was wearing because you took my picture that day. That picture which showed my shattered dreams and broken heart.
But you never knew, and you never will.
Perhaps you felt even worse than me.
I don’t know. You never told me. You never told me anything and you still don’t and I’ve made peace with the fact that you never will open up.
I gave up on you a long time ago. Of course with time you really showed me what you are and I like none of that.
So what am I still doing you ask. Just trying to honor a marriage contract and trying to give my daughter a father in her life.
How far I can go on. I don’t know and I really don’t care.
You were my world once, but your anger, bitterness and threats took all the love out of me.
Thank you for that, I never knew how strong I was until I lived with you.
And now in this moment I know that I am alone and very very strong in my loneliness.