I believe, I don’t believe

I miss you

And I have cried a little…

The way you said, “I love you” for the first time, was quite out of sync with the rest of our conversation.

I would be a fool to believe you.

I started drinking ’round 1 am.

I questioned choices I’ve made in the past:

Whom I gave my body to, more importantly my heart.

I chose to watch a film- really take my mind off things.

Turns out it hit too close to the heart in my chest.

I turned it off to fall asleep

And while in REM:

I dreamt about good times I had

I dreamt about horrors I’ve faced and survived

I dreamt of comfortable solitude

I dreamt of sturdy friendships

And of emptiness

I dreamt of God.

He seemed, ehh… upset

He always made me feel… (breathe)… well, humiliated.

I dreamt of the Devil, he was always accepting.

I dreamt of birth, of the life in between of death

I dreamt that I was better, better than who ever it is that I currently am

I woke…

Thinking of you.

I have been missing you.

Yes, I’ve even been crying too.

The way you said, “I love you” for the first time…

I’d be a fool not to believe you.


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