Recently, a member of my family shared a post on facebook about some of the thoughts that go through their mind daily. The post said: I’m not pretty enough, I’m not skinny enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not talented enough. These thoughts go through my mind daily.
The post saddened me. By itself, the post is disheartening, but having it be shared by someone close to me share it and say the thoughts made it a thousand times worse. I’m not going to pretend that the post would’ve been nearly as upsetting if had been shared by someone I am less close with. I commented and told her that she was enough in all those areas, and that every time she had a thought like that to remember she is enough to someone, and that she is loved.
Thoughts like those are not uncommon in today’s world. Especially in the U.S., there’s a lot of pressure to be ‘enough’. There’s so many brilliant minded people, the world wants everyone, women in particular to be perfectly beautiful and good-looking, we want people to be normal and yet extraordinary, and there’s so much toxic behavior that makes people think that they aren’t good enough. It hurts me to know that there are so many people out there who don’t think that they are enough, and today, I set out to make a change and try to help the people who think they aren’t enough. The first step was to counter the thoughts they have and tell them that they are enough in any way they make think they aren’t (they think they aren’t smart enough, tell them that they are). The second part is to remind them that they are loved, for two reasons. Reason one being that thinking they aren’t enough can make them think that they aren’t loved or aren’t worthy of being loved. Reminding them that they are loved directly confers the first scenario, and shows them that even if they think they aren’t worth loving or deserving of being loved, that at least one person thinks otherwise and they don’t get a choice in being loved. Reason two is that sometimes being told that you are loved can be reassuring, sometimes more so than anything else is, and that having someone who loves you even if you don’t means that you can go to that person in times of hardship. I wrote up a message to put on my different social media accounts to share. I invited people to share the message, to change it, to tag those who need to hear it, or to even say it to someone random on the street. Spread the message around, so everyone hears it, even those who are fine and think they are enough. A reminder never hurts. This is the message:
You’re pretty enough, just you don’t think so because you’re not your type.
You don’t have to be all bones like me, as long as you’re healthy, you’re skinny enough.
You’re good enough, you’re more than good enough, you aren’t the problem here. You deserve all that is good in the world.
Not smart enough for what? You brains have gotten you this far, and if there’s something you need more practice at, you’re smart enough to learn the skills.
Talent comes with practice. And I bet you there’s something you can do I can’t, some small talent you have I don’t. You have talent, and you have enough of it.
Evertime a thought like that goes through your mind, I want you to follow it with the thought that there’s someone out there who thinks you’re pretty enough, doesn’t care if you’re skinny, thinks you’re good enough, smart enough, and talented enough. If nothing more, I want you to remember you’re loved.
Please, copy and paste this. There’s so many people who need to hear it. We can trend ‘me too’ and ‘march for our lives’ and so many other things. Let’s trend this too. How about #youreenoughyoureloved .
If you, the person reading this could take that message, with any tweeks you see fit made, and spread it around, fill the internet with the reminder, I know it would make at least a small difference to the people who need it. The hashtag is optional, but seeing something like this trend could start a movement to make those thoughts lessen their hold. I am trying to make a change, but I am only one person, and I cannot help everyone, because I do not know everyone. Help me help others. Thank you for the time you spent reading this. And if you are one of the people who has thoughts like my aunts, then know, you are enough, and you are loved.