I see your back’s facing me, sleeping and not moving. I used to hug it so tightly, I used to embrace it whenever I want to. Those city lights from tall buildings on the background decorates the night sky, separated by a wide glass of window. Blurry because my eyes only focus on your curve.
I just wanna sleep beside you, and nothing else. I just wanna hold your hand, that’s all. I’m not begging you to love me nor put that ring on your finger, not anymore.
After all, you still stay in the loft we used to make love.
After all, I still wear the necklace you gave to make a peace.
I know you already see another, I know you’re ready to pack your bag and move on. You just don’t wanna hurt me, you just can’t forget how we used to be mad in love.
I whisper in silence, please look at my face for one more time, for the last time. I swear I don’t make a sound, but you do listen it, right? You move, turn around, you’re still awake. Now that our eyes meet, I cannot hold my tears. I know, you would hug me right away.
That night, I cried in you arms. Crying on a dying love.
That night, you hold me again. Crying on a withering love.
Can I pray for you not to leave? For many time I’ve been trying not to look weak in front of you, I cannot deny that I’m just a human. I’m just a human who made mistakes and lose your trust. I’ve been trying not to fall on my knees even though I know you would catch me. But this is the final, I know soon or later we would arrived on this final track.
We’ve been running together,
now we try to forgive each other.
Jakarta, March 22, 2018.
Xoxo, Ayase Kim.