Here We Go Again

All relationships go through their ups and downs. This is a lesson which you learn when you don’t need to be taught but to be told before it happens. We are humans and at the end of the day we are going to fall in love. Love does not come with a manual that we can all read and understand, it does not come with directions or does it have a map of some kind for everyone else to follow suite.

Why is it that we fall in love so badly and at the last hurdle we just do not seem to be able to jump it together? We fall in love so deep. We fall in love so much that we just want to give our hearts out. We fall in love even when the odds of us getting a heartbreak are equal to that getting the perfect match. At least we don’t think of this probability when we start the whole process because I am quite sure that if we did, humans would have by now figured out the way for making other humans. Isn’t falling in love mainly for the fact that we want to start a family?

Sometimes in life you meet someone who changes you, who makes you a better person in life. So when that person is taken away from you, then what do you become? We are so much dedicated to loving someone, so much that we lose focus of what’s real and what’s not real anymore. We fall in love so much that it becomes so clear that for real love is blind. We fall in love so much that we don’t even see the flaws that are right in front of us and when someone tells you about them, you think about them at that moment but once you think of the love you share then it all becomes just a distant memory. Well, who can doubt it when we say love is blind after all.

Well, if love is blind then it must be unconditional, but why do I feel like always there is a condition even when we say that we love the other unconditionally. So why is it that we love someone only when they love us back, am quite sure that is a condition. Why not just love someone even when they not loving you back and then make them fall in love with you as they get to know you better. Well, I am just saying maybe I am wrong but if I am not then that is another issue to ponder over I guess.

As I said in my first sentence, Relationships go through their ups and downs and it’s a lesson that you learn. My question is, what happens when you do not learn from the mistakes that you made and even when you try, you still end up doing the same mistake over and over again, should you just quit trying to date anyone anymore or should you just keep on trying what you had been doing all along and hope for the best (that someone one day will tolerate your mistakes and hopefully love you for that). I kinda feel like this is way too much to ask for from someone.

Sometimes I get to a point whereby I ask myself what are we as humans not doing correctly? Should we walk around with signals so that we just know this is the perfect match for one of us so that we do not waste our precious little time trying to get someone to love you. Is it possible to have someone to say that the two of you are a perfect match and build love from there? I kinda feel like always when I am into something I end up asking a lot of questions and not getting the answers because at the end of the day, I am just asking myself and giving you something to ask yourselves and maybe get an answer better than I could have done so.

There has been a number of times when I sit down and meditate on matters of the heart and I just gaze up to the sky and keep on wondering what is it about love that makes us so crazy and makes us so emotionally attached. We love someone so much that when that person hurts you, you actually feel your heart breaking. Eyes are very sensitive but the heart is very fragile guys, one wrong move and you feel like it not only skips a beat but it stops completely. So whatever you do, keep in mind that this organ doesn’t need stress, you might actually die of heartbreak. As for heartbreaks, why is it that some of us keep that heartbreak even when someone is trying to mend it with you? You get to like someone and then when you realize that your other half will never be ready to commit to you, you get to know their past that they are keeping in their hearts. When will we realize that no two people are alike, that not everyone is looking to break your heart, that we can’t let the past dictate the future but let it shape us into something better than we were before.

So let me be frank with you here. I in my short life have been dumped twice, that’s twice the pain. I still try to sometimes figure out what I have been doing wrong and still can’t see it. Sometimes I guess what I need is for those chicks just to have a parley with me and we talk about it. So why am I including this? Well, it’s pretty simple, I am including this because I really want to just make it clear that it’s love that sometimes really messes everything up. Once you love someone and tell them your feelings, then everything gets fucked up, like literally. I am quite sure that your crush is supposed to remain your crush and if you are lucky that crush will have the same feelings towards you.

Then it comes to the bad situation. You still love that person and no matter how much you try to show them that you are into them for real, they still give you no time at all. You are left with a heart that aches for someone and a heart that desperately needs that someone but that someone doesn’t have the time to accommodate you. They remain forever in your mind all day and night, they are the first thing you think of when you try to meditate. Love is surely the worst kind of thing to ever feel in your life, it rips you apart, breaks you down to the lowest levels ever imagined and takes you to hell and probably will lock you there and throw away the key. Love will trick you into believing that you can have it all, into believing that love is the key to all doors, then it makes you dig a grave and unfortunately once you are six feet under, it drops all the dirt on top of you.

Yet after all this torment, you still go back to look for love in the world no matter how torn you were the previous time. You still hope that one day love will lead you to heaven. It’s like, as if love has you under a spell and it keeps you motivated to find it no matter what. Once you find it, it would be really nice if you make sure it’s the right one and you never let it go unless you have to.

It’s easier to love someone than to commit to someone. It’s easier to tell someone that you love them than prove to them that you really love them. It’s easier to make someone believe you than it is to make yourself believe that they are the one. It’s easier to have sex than it is to make love. We have been turned into a world where we are more interested in the material than we are invested in the emotional side of love. If this wasn’t true than I would not be writing this. It is so true that we all try to think that it’s false. Just because 99.99% think, so doesn’t mean that the 0.01% is wrong.

I would love to live in a world where we love each other for real and not act like as if we’re still animals and want to have someone else instead. After all these years of this so-called evolution, we still have not evolved from the basic instinct. In animals, well, it’s normal. But guys, we are humans, we are way better but we still want to hold on to the past that we think is the right way.

Let’s love one another in such a way that we do not settle for less from the one that we have given our hearts to. Lets do our partners right. Lets love each other like there is tomorrow. The path might be shadowed with temptations but I am sure, we as a great species can make it past all this.

Wrote this at a time when I was just trying to figure out who I love in this world.


Huntalyv Caesar

Its Just Life, Nothing more

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