Kabir was a 15th-century Indian mystic poet and saint whose writings influenced religious movements and his many popular verses are found in various religious scriptures. His poetry is a part of the literature books that are taught in schools and colleges.
As a general practice, Saint Kabir gave spiritual recitals everyday and many people came from far away places to hear his golden words .
One day, as the recital got over and all the people left the ashram, Kabir saw that one man was still sitting there. He asked the man why was he still there? The man said, that he had a question to ask and was waiting for people to leave. Saint Kabir gave a nod and the man asked, ”I am a householder and have a big family, but each day I get into a tussle with someone or the other at home and thus there is total chaos in the house. I want to know the reason for this discord and the ways to improve the situation”?
Saint Kabir kept mum and after a little while asked his wife to get a lantern. Without asking any questions, his wife instantly followed the order. The man was confused and thought that why did the Saint ask for a lantern in a broad daylight.
After a little while, Kabir asked his wife to get something sweet to eat. The wife immediately got a snack but a salty one, instead of the sweet snack which was asked for and the Saint politely accepted it. The man was absolutely puzzled and thought this was a house full of mad people, where everyone indulged in strange acts. He got up and started leaving .
While he was going, Kabir asked the man whether he has got the answers to his queries or does he still have some doubts? The man annoyingly said, “I have not understood a single thing, rather I am confused by the happenings’’.
Saint Kabir started smiling and said, ”Let me explain to you. When I had asked for a lantern, my wife could have straightaway asked me, that have I gone crazy as I was asking for a lantern in the day time. But she calmly got the lantern, thinking that if I had asked for it, than there might be a reason behind it”.
“Similarly, when I asked for something sweet, she got a salty snack, but I kept calm, thinking that she might not be having anything sweet at home and that is why she had got a salty snack instead. Both of us fully understood the reason for each other’s behavior and thus found no reason to cross question and thus there was no conflict at all”.
Kabir said, in a household, mutual trust is built when there is an understanding between the family members. Instead of pinpointing and highlighting others’ mistakes, one should be considerate and thoughtful, contemplating that there might be a reason behind a person’s behavior. If a husband commits a mistake, the wife should handle it sensibly and if a wife commits a mistake, then the husband should ignore it. This is the mantra for a happy household.
Not only husband and wife. When you make efforts to understand others, trust their point of view and refrain from forcing your opinions on them, there is a mutual respect and trust one earns. This trust prevents the situations of conflict and can create the most cordial atmosphere around us; in the family as well as with the outside world.