An Infant’s Cry

Like an infant being cradled by my mother on her bosom.

My father who worked vigorously hard to shelter us from harm.

Then I woke up, it was all a dream…
No matter what pain and aches I feel, I am soothed by the inner innocent child in me, which should have been killed a long time ago, but it remains, it continues to survive because it was never touched, never cared for, never understood so it hid in the deepest, darkest shadow of my soul.

Now it is wide awake, strong, visible, directly facing the Light, no longer ashamed…my Achilles heel, my vulnerabilities, my greatest inner strength.

I’ve always expressed myself through art since I was a child, a form of self-expression forever lost in the eyes of those who operate like a machine without a soul.

In a materialistic world, I am forever seen an artistic but a useless child.

But I excelled in the tools that would help me survive, this is my tough exterior, what I choose the world to see.

Now I am finally at my happiest, at my best, at my healthiest, the essence I thought I could never be. What could kill many, only strengthened me, an ironic tragedy…

I have been feeding off bad energy my entire life…. stress, violence, aggression, terrible memories, negativity after negativity after negativity, this ironically never drained me, it fueled me to keep going, to keep trying.

Death, I do not fear, death can be experienced while living, and that is what I have experienced, the numbness, the profanity, the unthinkable.

This is why I have become so relentless, I cannot rest until I have experienced and shared with people all forms of beauty in life.
I am not at all inspiring, I am forever empowering.

I may not be good at showing empathy to all, I am only best at showing the greatest empathy for human pain, and this is how I connect with people, with the world.

My words may be painful at times as those were the words of love I learned from the hell I was born in, but I am aware of so many things, always have and will always be, and awareness is key to survival and transformation.

I am a lucky child born with an imaginative and creative mind.

My rich inner world of fantasies and dreams is what truly saved me.

Forever damaged yet whole and good that many do not see.

I have experienced the true beauty and irony of life.

Resilience engulfs my entire soul, mind, heart and body.

And resilience is the best gift I can share with those around me.

Justine Cabrera

Justine Cabrera

Justine teaches children. She thrived from childhood trauma, studied Law & Society at York University, and is currently studying psychology.

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