Love / Hate Relationship – The Balancing Act

Love the students,
More than anything!
The things they teach me everyday,
Their kindness, tolerance, innocent and awkward beauty,
The little things that bring fits of uncontrollable laughter,
The look in their eyes when they finally understand,
The light bulb flickering on, burning brighter now,
The smile that follows,
Lights up my day.

Those whose light burns dimly, barely flickering most days,
Do not underestimate their abilities!
The joy, the pain, the frustrations,
All worthwhile, when you feel their sense of accomplishment beaming.
Look for hidden talents and
Enjoy the surprises!

The troublemakers…
The mischievous, sneaky little punks!
The assholes who disrespect, test your every limit,
It’s not personal.
They need love the most.
I love them too, sometimes more so than the others.
I will not give up on you,
Even if you have given up on yourself and the world.

Hate the legalities!
Fuck you who abused your power in the past!
Nearly impossible now to get students the help they need.
Always stuck.
Walking a tightrope with unstable drug addicts,
Harassed, abused, verbally, physically, daily,
By both students and parents.
Psychosis runs in families.
Mental health services too expensive, a luxury these days.
Nothing the school can do, the attorney says.

Home life out of my control,
The neglectful parents, some mentally unstable, some merely revoltingly selfish.
Valuing the car they drive,
Over clothes for their children,
Treating infestations,
Providing feminine products for their young daughters,
Never enough for the law to step in.

The abusive families,
Too atrocious to describe.
Inflicting trauma at every turn,
“Oh no, she’s cured now. She’s fine.”
Brother is out and home now…
No wonder she can’t focus.
How do I grade this child?
Fairness… what a concept.

Hate CPS!
Supposed to help, but does not.
And what’s worse-
An abusive home with family?
Or an abusive home with strangers?
Who am I to make that call.
Mandated reporter. Can be jailed or fined.
So I call. Not that it makes a difference.
Justice… what a joke.

Hate the testing industry!
Billions of dollars, with a B!
Test scores more important than learning to think critically.
Building prisons based off 3rd grade literacy rates.
Look it up. It’s happening.
An 8 year old already has a future prison bed, if they can’t read.
Impoverished, illiterate, clearly a criminal in the making.
Our own secretary of education doesn’t understand the metrics.
Are we measuring progress, or if they’ve met the standard?
How do we define success?
Is this definition just, fair and applicable to all students?
Currently, not so much.

Love the learning, the teaching,
When permitted to do so, that is.
Hate the lack of humanity, the insanity,
The absence of professional courtesy.
No longer treated as professionals,
Despite being not only teachers,
But everyday also a nurse,
A mother,
A friend,
A therapist,
A detective,
A mechanic,
A punching bag,
A human shield.

Love the students,
Hate the circus.
A constant balancing act!
Not to mention the curriculum..
And so it goes.

Matilda Beaumont

Exploring humanity through poetry and short scenes

1 Comment

charlesbenz27 · March 18, 2018 at 2:56 pm


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