In loving memory of S. Mshelia
I grieve for a lost soul dearest to me.
Some say it’s fate, but I am convinced it was perfect timing.
I look at the grave and wonder what it feels like be there.
I go to church the following day and the preacher says “God controls everything”.
Why do the good people suffer for the wrongs of others? I ask.
I look up and wonder if God is responsible for the stabbing pain in my heart.
Pain, not only mine, but of those who suffer same grief in parts.
I pray for peace, for my country that her arrival may be quick.
For when peace took flight,
That which we once considered as harmony turned to be sour calamity.
My sisters left home hoping to arrive before dusk. We waited but they never came back.
I watched on TV that they will never return for a while knowing it will never be the same
I go to church to find solace, the preacher says we would always find comfort here.
And so in my heart, I hope they come back even though I secretly despair.
Sometimes life and providence is not just fair for all.
You hope that you have happiness and peace most days of your life,
Then one day it’s different.
I am made to leave a place I always considered to be home.
A place that once tolerated my difference and accommodated my lifestyle.
I turn back and shake my head in despair, in my mind I wonder if it will ever be the same.
Can I forgive and forget the scar seared on my heart?
What have I done wrong that I am punished so badly?
My territory taken over for a cause I am ignorant of.
I am stripped naked and battered but luckily, I escape with air in my nostrils
I cry to myself and realized when peace took flight she boarded with justice.
The preacher is no more on the pulpit to give console.
He gave up on what he once taught and preached
Age and despair made his heart frail and sore
Though he lived long enough to see the irony of his faith.
Now I stand from the pew as a Preacher teaching that
Those who seek for peace shall find it for she shall someday return
And then we shall be consoled for she alone can tell why she took off
For when that tranquil joy returns back to your soul, you realize nothing lasts forever
“Amen” I think, looking at the crucifix ahead of me.