Through the lens of depression we see only crisis at hand, it is a nightmare that has gotten your soul in a vice grip. Firmly devoted to holding you there in a place of misery and despair. It feels like drowning but there is no water around you.

It will take what it can get from you to form a leverage over you, it will wreak havoc and leave you utterly broken and uncertain. Depression forms much like a virus seeking to inhabit and destroy its host. If your emotional resilience has weakened, we are victim to its prey.

It is the monkey on my back that weighs me down.

It is the voice telling me everything is over, I am an unwanted side effect of a universe flooded with people all more fit and well equipped for the daily struggle of living.

People with minds sharper and better than mine who do not bare this disease.

In my mind there’s a black cloud which refuses to let any rain go and my shoulders are heavy from carrying a monkey that screams, you are not good enough.

When I try to make an effort to shake the monkey of my back, it grips on tighter.

Sounds familiar?

Depression plagues more than 300 million people everyday, yet we spend a minuet time talking about the subject at hand. Talking that brings awareness that could potentially save lives both now and in the future.

What I learned from depression is to never ever give up. I Believe it to be the most useful advice I ever found in the midst of my worst moments.

If we give up, we lose the fight but if we keep fighting we can never lose. Failure is only an option when giving up, when you keep trying you can never fail because you haven’t given up.

So that’s why I am saying to you to never ever give up.

Sure it might seem hard and even hellish at times, but the sooner you give up on the notion that life is supposed to be easy, the quicker you get out of your own way.

You see life is not easy, life may be fun and we may have moments of intense clarity and profound bliss. But there is no such thing as an easy Life, we will all experience heartbreaks, we all know loss and we are all fighting a fight inside which, we are the sole provider for.

So the sooner we surrender to the notion that it is okay to be down and sad, the better off we will be with depression. Depression doesn’t like when we accept it, depression feeds on your suffering. If we let it be then it will have less Power over us.

Sounds really simple but it can be a big ordeal if you are severely depressed to just let it be there. The times when we can’t get out of bed, it’s really hard to laugh at depression and call it silly. When we drown in the midst of chaos how can we possibly make it through?

We need emotional resilience to conquer it and we may need to conquer it again and again each day.
But if you were not born to fight for your life then why are you here? The day we stop fighting is the day we die. I made the choice a long time ago to never ever give up, to never surrender to the vice grip that is depression.

When times are tough and I feel like quitting, I tell myself you made a promise to never ever give up. To keep going when the going gets tough and to see the silver lining no matter how dark life feels at that moment.

I have tasted failure thousand times over, I’ve been defeated, broken and down on my knees begging for absolution. But I have NEVER given up on Life. The promise I made to myself fuels my everyday and fuels my every action. I strive to be a better person, a better friend, a better boyfriend and a better man every single day.

There is only one way and that is forward, though we may stumble and fall. Feel broken and bruised, cry and scream, there is always Beauty and love hiding behind every corner.

Through the lens of depression we become blind to its ever-present grace, but we must fight to keep that light going inside us. That fire burns for something or someone and it is your purpose to keep fighting so that light doesn’t dim.

So all fellow beautiful humans who read this, do not ever give up. You are here for a worth while reason and depression is only temporary while life and love are everlasting.

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What I Learned Looking Through The Lens Of Depression
Johan Sundvall

Johan Sundvall

Just trying to make the World a better Place by spreading awareness. Visit:

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7 thoughts on “What I Learned Looking Through The Lens Of Depression

  1. Sometimes I do feel like giving up. I am inspired to keep fighting the depression by people like yourself. Thank you for writing this great post.

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