I can’t sleep again!
It’s been more than four hours past midnight and I’m wide awake! Last evening was pleasant, long family walk was refreshing. The sign of spring is more evident now and much more believable since it’s right there when you look at the decorated trees and greener carpets. And then there’s a sight of these three soulful serene women, in my neighborhood, sitting in their porch engrossed in a world of their own. (Sigh)….. I think I know why am I not able to sleep!
Some of the best and memorable conversations are the ones I have never had! Sitting on the rooftop, facing the high velocity wind but looking inside, introspecting for hours in the company of those with whom I have never felt compelled to explain or justify my grin or a frown! I miss that, friendships like that don’t happen overnight. Those were built while my guard was down and filters were null. I miss that rooftop, star studded sky, empty beer cans, over spilled ashtrays, pile of books, an old music player and us who truly believed good girls revolt! I miss the whole setting goddammit!
I will always remember those conversations we never had since the words were not important between friends but the meanings were and I guess that’s why we have all had more meaningful conversations with those whom we hold closer to heart even when we are geographically apart! What happens to us when we grow older? When do we actually stop making connections? Why do we lock our hearts behind that rib cage forever once we are older and convince ourselves we don’t need any new friendship?
The best moments of my life are the ones that I haven’t taken pictures of, it’s etched in my memory, it becomes clearer as it gets older and I haven’t had a chance to make any new ones! Nostalgia is like that grammar lesson where you find the present tense but the past perfect! Do you ever just smell a perfume or hear an old song or glance at a book and it breaks you inside for a couple of minutes because you doubt if you will ever feel like that ever again? Because friendship is a thing of past once you move to a new place!