It’s 2 am, on a wednesday night, a reminder that I am still to force myself for my act of survival in college, for two more days.

Gazing at what this balcony offers me, I stare into this abyss of emptiness.

I see mountains formed up, where in daylight I have seen trees crowding up, perhaps looking for warmth in this cold weather.

Apparently, they still are, but the darkness creates a pal over my eyes. Ain’t it all about perception?
Or maybe.

And oh well, a clear cloudless sky, dotted with stars, marking their presence, in fractions of seconds.

My feet are numb, yet as I press my palms against the cold of the metal railing, the chill is not felt in my spine. It’s a feeling of relaxation, soothing my racing heart beats.

I don’t want to leave this cocoon of mine; this balcony where my thoughts, like the mizzle of the rain drops are only heard by me.

I don’t want to leave this place, as if on the other side, I am to face the world, the world looking at me with his gaze, searching for answers to questions, I have left unanswered.

“I don’t know.”

Deja vu.

My mobile screen flashes a very familiar number.

The life in me is sinking, and the blood in my veins rushes for an escape.

Heated up, unlike the cold outside. My cheeks feel a new warmth, and I let the ring cover for the silence. Better?

Is it for all the affection I’m too lose or the attention?
Don’t you cry.

-Arpana Mehta

Arpana Mehta

Need no drinks to pour my heart out! Love long walks and texts. And good pictures. Follow me on MusingsBySomebody @arpana_naa


arnelwillim · March 9, 2018 at 10:11 am

wow! it’s so deep and powerful! reminds me of my two months left in high school right now❤

    Arpana Mehta · March 9, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    Thank you so much! Glad you can relate. Your words mean a lot.

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