Next few days and weeks passed on. Studies, board preparations, practical assignments and projects, dance practice is what I did, what all of us did.
Varun never spoke, not even looked at me once, too focused and concentrated on his studies, however one bright lucky day, he showed up. Most of the undisclosed feelings and thoughts expressed in his pause.
“Hey…” A lag behind words, expressed his hard fought courage to speak.
“I need your help… some sort you can only help with.” A lag between words, expressed his need of explaining his desperate need for me.
“Literature..and language.” Though, the lag here signified his undecided thoughts.
“Anytime… You prefer.” His desperate needs again.
“The Library, 12 pm, Saturday”
“Thanks… A lot.” The lag, signified his unexpected accepted request.
My eyes remain fixed to my notebook all the time I conversed with him. My burning emotions turned into tears as soon as he left.
“I won’t be able to assist him this way.”
“But you said you would, to him” Trisha spoke.
“But what should I do now? I can’t even face him.”
“Just once, and it’s over.” She said patting my back. I heaved a sigh.
Saturday, as was decided, came too quickly, unexpectedly. My fear increased as the time got closer to 12.
It was time. I was in the library, waiting. The sound of someone’s feet walking, came from my behind. He probably entered. My fear grew inside, engulfing the whole of me, bit by bit usurping my full body and senses, seizing my mind and nerves. Fear of facing him, talking to him, which made my bones feel weak and non functional.
The feet seated themselves across me. Books and pens in hand, he pushed towards me.
I turned my gaze at him, just for once. He appeared pale. The happiness on his face was lost somewhere. The first time when I met him, here, he was energetic, lively and happy, the most happy being.
I quickly drew away my eyes turning them to the book.
During the course of teaching, I tried to keep my gaze away from him.
“This message was sent to Mr. Hamphrey.”
“How can we infer this out?”
“Look here, this phrase.” I pointed out the words on the page.
“Oh these.” His fingers touched mine. A tingling sensation of excitement in my nerves. Felt like a day before we separated.
Hastily, my finger drew away and I stopped, stood up, gathered my belongings, turned away to leave.
“So now, my touch is also bad to you. Or someone else’s has become good” He said.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said and walked away outside the library.
Destiny plays an important role in shaping our lives… whether good or bad… happy or sad. It has an evil way of leading us ahead in our lives. Maybe the bitter truths and reality we face is its way of telling us to move on! For you deserve better, or maybe you need to deserve better…
It wasn’t my choice, but it became eventually. To forget him… To move on!
I was involved in studies and dance practices.
Annual day was scheduled on Sunday, tomorrow.
Maybe decision making is the ultimate conclusion of our lives. It can be hard or easy, and we need to be patient till destiny gives them a shape and consequence, the final deciding body in our lives.
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