When I’ll let you in, if I haven’t already, I will only shower you with my love. You’ll be at the center of my heart every day and at the forefront of my thoughts every night. I will only see you and no one else.
I will do what I can to make you feel like the most loved man in this world. I will care for you, cherish you, listen to you and notice all the little things you’re not aware of. I will love you for all those little things. Of course, I will always be curious about your life before me and I’ll think back at the stories you’ve shared up to that point with me. Even the moments we’ve spent together and meant something, I will treasure them. You might have forgotten them but I won’t. There will always be a reason behind my “Hello” and “Hi” texts or the songs I send. Or a thought in every action I take concerning you…us.
When I’ll let you in, you’ll be in. And that’s that.
There won’t be any need for guessing and you’ll never have to question where you stand with me. You will simply know it all…and you will know it in the adoring way I’ll look at you when we meet, when I see you. Or in my laughter, that one I hold back a little so I won’t betray myself and how much you actually mean to me. Once you’re in my heart, you will be wanted there for the long, long haul. You’ll be welcomed in my most vulnerable hours, in my thoughts, in my painful memories and in my many layers of emotions.
It might take you some time to get there but trust me, it’s worth every step of the way.
When I’ll let my guard down for you, I won’t really have a back-up plan. I know how to shield myself and I will know then too….But that doesn’t mean my heart will stop looking for you when I am in pain. I will only hope that I mean something to you, something important. I will hope that you understand how hard it is for me to let someone in or how much care and affection I have. Or how devoted I can be.
You know…. I love wildly, passionately, maybe a little foolishly. But I’m not sorry for that. That’s how I am. I can give everything away without much for myself in the end.
When I’ll let you in, it will be because I’ll see the sun and the moon in you. I will feel you, understand you. I will anticipate your reactions to all my emotion-driven behaviors, which, believe me, are many.
See, I am not scared of pain or of being lonely. That’s all okay. I am only scared of being unable to feel again but you’ve shown me the opposite so far. In you and with you, I have found myself, my little anchor. And I wouldn’t trade any of our moments with you for anything in this world.