A birthday message to my gardener…

It’s my gardeners birthday today. The relationship I have with my gardener is the most challenging one I have but, other than the ones I have with my children, it’s been the most important. I know she will never read this so I wanted to use her special day to share some of the wonderful things about her that she would never accept if I said them to her beautiful face. I refer to her as ‘my gardener’ as a term of affection but she would probably pounce on that as a negative and take the opportunity to remind me of her perception that I also treat her as my cleaner, childminder, maintenance woman and general dogsbody as well. I really don’t, but today is her day so I get where she’s coming from, honestly I do. She’ll think I have a motive for writing this. The truth is I do, we’re in a very bad place at the moment so this is ‘kind of’ the conversation I have in my head with her where things go well and we find common ground. Writing it down helps me, so there’s certainly a selfish element to this. It’s more about the qualities my gardener possesses though that I’d like others to know about. Unlike my other posts, I don’t want you to share this one. It’s just between us. My gardener and I met in a bar. It probably say a lot about where she was in her life at that time as, the truth is, she doesn’t really like bars. She does, despite being the worst at the pastime I’ve ever seen, like drinking but a can of John Smiths Smooth-flow after a couple of hours burning stuff in the garden is much more her thing than the endless pursuit of nothingness I indulge myself in. Occasionally she allows herself two cans, usually because, in her words; “it’s a Friday”. When this happens I have learned to adorn my tin hat and take cover as her last sip will inevitably be followed by a ‘cute’, again her words, burp and a tirade against all the wrongs I’ve done to her over the last decade and a half or so. As I’ve already alluded to, my gardener is very beautiful. She’s perhaps the most effortlessly gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in real life. In all the years I’ve known her she’s perhaps had her hair done in a professional salon, maybe twice. Most of her clothes are purchased in charity shops, she doesn’t go anywhere near the gym, although she does keep very active as she’s a very hard worker, and I’m not even sure she knows what Botox is. Despite this, wherever I’ve ever been with her, she’s nearly always the most beautiful person in the room. There’s a picture in our front room of her mother as a young woman and she was the same. She looks like an old fashioned film star, Elizabeth Taylor to my gardeners, Natalie Wood. Maybe because she’s always been so beautiful, so understands nothing else, she has always been deeply unimpressed by compliments on her looks. They just don’t wash with her, she’d much rather someone was positive about a piece of garden furniture she’s created out of a dead tree and some milk bottle tops or, especially, the achievements of her children. Be gushing about things like that and watch her light up the room. It’s a wonder of our world, it really is. Look a little deeper and you will see how intelligent my gardener is. She can’t spell and sometimes struggles to articulate her thoughts the way she’d want to but she has a curiosity about a whole range of things and knows a lot of stuff. If you need someone for your quiz team, my gardener is the one to choose. Specialist subjects include; science, all things nature, pop music and…..gardening. My gardener was born to be a mother. Perhaps (actually there’s no perhaps about it) my greatest achievement was the very small part I played in helping her become what she so desperately wanted to be when I first met her. To be fair, my part wasn’t that difficult. See the paragraphs above about her natural beauty, I was hardly being asked to help clean out the drains (not a euphemism


1 Comment

sunniesmybunnies · March 5, 2018 at 2:54 pm

Kindness is next to godliness 🙂

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