I saw him walk away, maybe from the competition, maybe from me…
“Bhavesh… Leave.” I said trying not to sound loud. I wanted to leave behind him, for him. I wanted to stay with him. But, when I tried to, Bhavesh caught hold of me compelling me to watch him go far enough to be out of my sight. His muscular strong arms held firm around my waist. I wasn’t able to move a muscle.
I hate this about males, they use their masculinity as a sword, say a word against and you are finished..
“No, I won’t. We have to practice and we have to be the best. How can you leave now?” He replied fixing his brown gaze upon me.
I wished to penetrate him hard just by one glance…
“I want to go to the washroom. Will you please let me go now?” I shot him a disgusted glance.
He withdrew both of his arms, from my waist.
I sought for him everywhere, in every classroom, washroom, playground, hall, still no mark of him.
I held my head in despair. Tear drops fell from my eyes.
“Palak….” I heard Trisha running towards me and comforting me.
“What happened Palak? Why are you crying so bad?” She asked patting my back.
I hugged her tightly and cried badly.
“I don’t know what is happening.. I just don’t.. ” I tried speaking.
“Don’t.. don’t. Let’s go to my home first.” She said lifting me up by my shoulders.
“So this is what’s troubling you..mmm” Trisha spoke licking her lips full.
“Yes.” I gave a blunt reply cupping my latte. I had to tell everything about me and Varun, I was found in such a state. I had to anyway, someday. She deserved to know but not like this, what I at least thought of.
“And you hid this till now from me.” Trisha remarked firmly rolling her eyes.
“I am…I am sorry. I didn’t intend to but…”
“No you said you don’t want to make your love public and now you say you didn’t intend to…” Trisha remarked this time being more firm.
“I am sorry, please understand.”
“Right.. we are here to solve your problem, relieve your misery and not to create mine. So why don’t you call him up right now?”
“Should I?” I asked half expecting.
“You should” She assured.
I dialled his number. I dialled again. Third time came a very faint voice from the other side.
“What do you want?” Varun spoke.
“Why…why are you saying so?”
“What do you expect more?”
“I want to meet you, at the cafe, 6 pm” I said firmly.
“I don’t want to.”
“You have to. You owe me this much at least.” I begged inside.
“Sure then.” He put down the call.
“I am leaving. It’s 4 pm. Need to get ready.”
“Take care. Call me when you need.” Trisha bid me smiling.
She was the embodiment of love and support, care and trust in my life.
I reached the cafe. I wondered what changed him so much, what happened in just two days and two nights!
Are really teenage love happenings, a lie? Well, the credit for the origin of this thought goes to Trisha..
Days when we had fun, a lot of fun together, were indeed the best days of my life where we had a philosophical judgement about love to be a disease and a teenage lie.. a golden beautiful lie. Just like the appearance of gold can blind eyes, love can disease soul, heart and mind. It can really make you sick, lovesick.
This was the time, my time. My time to repay, for judging others, for judging and analysing love, for calling someone lovesick, diseased…. For this moment I was love-stricken.
My hands were turning colder and colder. I was getting numb. The recurring pain in my eyes, probably was due to less sleep and more weeping.
It was 6:30 pm.
Seriously, I deserved this? I too did fall for this golden beautiful lie? Was it right? Or am I living the golden truth?
My thought process stopped when my phone beeped. It was a message from Varun.
“Mum is in the hospital again. She needed a recheck. Don’t wait. I won’t be able to show up.”
I sighed. I felt bad for her. She is having a tough time. And I started liking her. She was the reason of our being together.
Or maybe not? Maybe because of her I fell in love? Maybe because she fell sick…. Is she to be blamed?
“No…no. How can I even think so! It was my decision, our decision.” I murmured..
I got up from my seat to leave.
Heavy eyes, tired arms. Heart still waited just to listen him once, listen him once say, he loves me still.
I needed sleep. This night didn’t witness a peaceful one though.
The sunshine threw it’s magnificent glow on my face. His rememberance knocked my nerves so hard that my head started to spin as it came to senses. I woke up holding my head down in my hands. I realised.. I was getting diseased.
I decided not to fall sick, lovesick.
He was absent today. The same normal routine followed.
“Let’s go out partying this evening.” Trisha suggested with sparkling eyes.
“Yes why not. It’s a good idea to refresh ourselves.” Romy said.
“I am in.” Bhavesh spoke.
I kept silent. Anything in my life, without him, is not a thing in my life..
“I am not that well today, so you guys do enjoy. See you tomorrow.” I said while wiping the sweat off my face.
“Come on Palak, it’s not everyday we party.” Romy squinted his eyes.
“Did you ask Varun?” I inquired.
“No, not yet but we will.” Bhavesh assured.
“And do you know why he is absent today?” I asked further.
“Didn’t talk last day.”
“If Varun comes, let me know. I will join in.” I said and stood up to leave. I gathered my bag and towel, took out the chocolate and left for home.
Thanks to all of you who kept reading and supporting me.
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