The Wait

I have been waiting
For a long time now
For something that’s out of my reach
For someone who doesn’t want me
And it’s imperative I stop
Before I breakdown
I am so, so close…
It’s frightening

The heartache stays a constant
Mayhap it’s just an illusion
Of shattered dreams
Barely held together
By fragments of hope
That my heart won’t let go
Perhaps it’s all in my head
No simple case of mind over matter
Yet maybe, my heart isn’t involved
For after all
The mind is the cause
With heart lies no fault

I cannot stop it, for it goes on
Starts so simply
With a smile, some words
And a feeling of belonging
Then comes the tsunami
Hope, tears, dreams
Wait, hurt, desperation
Trying to accept reality
But failing so miserably
Then hope, more tears…
On and on
It’s a vicious cycle
I have tried many times
To break free before it breaks me

Perhaps solitude would suit me better
Than someone who’s only half there
Than someone who doesn’t want to be there
Perhaps it’s the memories I miss
Not the person I had them with
Perhaps it’s for the potential
Of all that we could be
But all that we won’t be
No matter how much I keep wishing
Perhaps all I want is to break free
And smile, without any worries
For the wounds to close
For this habit of waiting to break
It’s going to be the end of me
I know, if I don’t stop soon

Yet, I know
At the end of the day
I won’t stop at all
And I’ll make reasons why I can’t–
Dreams haunting,
Memories playing in loop,
The fear of moving on
They’re all just excuses
Because the truth is
I don’t think I can stop
Not today, nor tomorrow
Or all the days to come
A part of me believes
My heart’s got no say
For there’s got to be something
That’s far greater at play
For if they occur too often
Even coincidences become fate
And certain people just matter more
For no known reason at all
So I’ll keep the wait
While my watch gets more and more vigilant
Because no matter what I think or do
Hope reigns and won’t let go


Moonlight

When the soul weeps, the heart speaks... And these words are the fruit of my heart's blood. Visit my blog, hit follow and share

4 Comments

Rain Bag · February 23, 2018 at 8:58 pm

I can relate. I think I’ve been in love with the same stranger for 7 years now.

Brady Delgado · February 24, 2018 at 2:59 am

Very nicely written.

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