As a generation, we tend to avoid real in life. Living a life of pretence, diplomacy, appearances and image. They have become such an integral part of our daily lives that they have seeped from our social interactions to our everyday relationships.
When a girl in our society comes to become of marriageable age, there’s a list that she’s provided with, on the basis of which she’s asked to decide who to marry. They talk about good families and bad families, financial security, how well educated the boy is, how good looking the boy is. I’ve tried fitting in and understanding all of this. I’ve tried becoming less emotional and more practical. But I can’t help who I am. I believe in connections and love and feelings. These are the real things for me.
Family, for me, is loving someone through the messy times. Believing in them when they don’t believe in themselves. Helping each other become better people. Pointing out the truth when they can’t see it but making sure you don’t break their spirit in the bargain. Being their conscience.
Real is flawed; real is messy; real is tough; real is heartbreaking; but real is honest; it is heartfelt; it is true; it’s bearing your soul. It is the innocence in a child’s eyes; the caress of a mother; the feel of the breeze. It is also the thrashing of the waves against rocks; the destruction of a hurricane; the loss of a loved one.
We pretend to love when we are actually angry because we’re afraid to deal with the consequences. We lie, we sugar coat, we tip toe around each other. We pretend to not care when we deeply do because we’re afraid we’ll get judged. We’re afraid to get hurt. We build such high walls around us with that fear, without realizing that if no one can hurt us, no one can make us feel loved either. It’s easier to pretend that you don’t care. It’s easier to lie and be in denial. I’ve tried, and miserably failed. I can’t keep up the pretence. I can’t put on a mask. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s been broken, it’s been crushed. But it’s been loved all the same.
We should be looking for a partner who treats us the way we deserve to be treated. To be with someone who loves without fear. Who will treat you with nothing, but respect. Someone who will stand up for your pride. Someone who makes you his priority. Someone who can look at you at your worst and say with all sincerity that they love you and mean it.
I want real! I need real! I miss real!